you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
