I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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