PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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