no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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