I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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