still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
