sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
