I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
