if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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