i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
