It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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