Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
