I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
