Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
