I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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