the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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