i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
