im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
worst night to have a conscience
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize