I'm drive I can fine osifer
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
