Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
