I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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