He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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