He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
