The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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