OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
bring money and cleavage
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
