I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Randomize
