I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
