My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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