positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
