ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
