i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
