College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
