Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i used baking grease as lip gloss
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
