Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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