Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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