Whod you bang
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
