The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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