hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
