if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
