Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Ladies don't puke and tell
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
