i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Vodka?
Forever.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
