He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize