You can't special order awesome
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
