He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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