so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
