Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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