so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
