I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
