Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
