I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
