my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
