Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
wow bdsm is so cute
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
