Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She needs sedatives and a leash
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
