Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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