and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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