well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
