they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
What drink are we having for lunch?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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