I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
