then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
