I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
