She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
